<--- Insert picture of "Family Truckster" here"Vacation"
2 weeks ago
Showing posts with label WTF. Show all posts
Showing posts with label WTF. Show all posts
Kiddie Kink for Korean Kars
One side of ad: Mary Blair-type picture book fun. Other side: sex-dipped schoolgirl fantasy. Now you know why the suits in Advertising & Promotion make the big bux.
And people wonder why I got out of the advertising biz...
It's Millerite Time!
Judgement Day is apparently scheduled for May 21. Full details in my latest blog post.
Mars Needs Euthanasia
Did anybody see Mars Needs Moms besides me? Sweet suffering Hayley Mills, what a disaster. Here's Zemeckis' formula for kid-movie success: first, make a movie for kids that's about a kid who's mom is abducted, sedated, and subjected to torturous experiments by aliens -- because, you know, kids are totally secure and could never be scared by the thought of their mother being kidnapped by monsters. Second, people the story with completely unlikeable characters -- a spoiled, asshole tweener "hero" whom you'll have an instant urge to slap stupid; the whining, nagging helicopter mom-slash-victim; a sweaty fat guy with Asperger's as a "good guy"; and a planet full of dirty, dangerous-looking Afro-Rastafarian Martians. Third, create a plot so convoluted and incomprehensible that Thomas fucking Pynchon couldn't figure it out. And finally, "animate" it using that creepy mo-cap process that makes every face look like that of a soulless, reanimated corpse (no pun intended). Put it all together and you get the biggest box office bomb in the history of movies. GG Disney!
This movie isn't just bad -- it's literally so bad it's scary. The characters' horrible, dead-eyed faces, the scenes of the kid's unconscious mom being brain-drained by aliens, the aforementioned sweaty fat guy with Asperger's -- it's pure nightmare fuel. My normally-unflappable four-year-old boy held my hand in a death-grip of terror the entire time we were in front of the screen; after about twenty minutes, I asked him if he wanted to leave, and he was more than ready. "Too scary, Papa." Yeah, that's what I like to hear after spending $26 on tickets and popcorn! GG Zemeckis!
Showbiz is so effed. Hollywood (etc.) is full of hyper-talented, hyper-creative types who could make the world happy with their films and so forth, yet who toil away for years in go-nowhere jobs on the cubicle floors until they give up on the dream. Meanwhile, two floors up on the Executive Level, there are other people who are getting paid fortunes to make big decisions, yet who are completely incompetent to make those decisions. And yet they get paid anyway! Think about it: the Mouse dropped a cool hundred and fifty million bucks on this sinker. That's one hundred and fifty million buckadingdongs. It'll earn back maybe -- maybe! -- a tenth of that. Yet some guy in a suit who makes more in a year than I'll net in my entire lifetime signed off on it -- and they'll keep paying him that fortune even though he was wrong, wrong, wrong.
Now you tell me there's any justice in this world.
Oh, well, at least they shuttered Zemeckis' "animation" studio for good. Thanks for wasting my money and scaring my kid shitless, Disney! WTG!
This movie isn't just bad -- it's literally so bad it's scary. The characters' horrible, dead-eyed faces, the scenes of the kid's unconscious mom being brain-drained by aliens, the aforementioned sweaty fat guy with Asperger's -- it's pure nightmare fuel. My normally-unflappable four-year-old boy held my hand in a death-grip of terror the entire time we were in front of the screen; after about twenty minutes, I asked him if he wanted to leave, and he was more than ready. "Too scary, Papa." Yeah, that's what I like to hear after spending $26 on tickets and popcorn! GG Zemeckis!
Showbiz is so effed. Hollywood (etc.) is full of hyper-talented, hyper-creative types who could make the world happy with their films and so forth, yet who toil away for years in go-nowhere jobs on the cubicle floors until they give up on the dream. Meanwhile, two floors up on the Executive Level, there are other people who are getting paid fortunes to make big decisions, yet who are completely incompetent to make those decisions. And yet they get paid anyway! Think about it: the Mouse dropped a cool hundred and fifty million bucks on this sinker. That's one hundred and fifty million buckadingdongs. It'll earn back maybe -- maybe! -- a tenth of that. Yet some guy in a suit who makes more in a year than I'll net in my entire lifetime signed off on it -- and they'll keep paying him that fortune even though he was wrong, wrong, wrong.
Now you tell me there's any justice in this world.
Oh, well, at least they shuttered Zemeckis' "animation" studio for good. Thanks for wasting my money and scaring my kid shitless, Disney! WTG!
Not coming to Anime Network this fall
"Little Gaza and the Seven Sparrows of Sorrow" I wonder if they'll get Kasim's Grendaizer, too . . .
Panty & Stocking est finis
I finally saw episode 13 (the finale) of Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt tonight.
なぜあなたは5午前時に家に来ている？
Pourquoi avez-vous rentrer à la maison cinq dans le «mon'»
Quelque chose se passe. Puis-je sentir votre bite?
Ne me jouer comme un fou cause qui n'est pas cool
Donc ce que vous devez faire est de me laisser l'odeur de votre bite.
NSFW
Original
Chris Rock + Kurosawa = ???
During his movie junket for Death at a Funeral, he let slip his next project was writing a remake of Akira Kurosawa's High and Low for director Mike Nichols. Is this a joke? I'll let you follow the trail:
Black Voices
Film
Japanator
I like Rock's comedy and the work he's done, but this definitely has a "WTF" factor to it. I'm hoping for the best if it's true.
Bad JPNZ Movie Trailers
Great summer flicks from Japan. NSFW (Violence, nudity, lots of Karo syrup, and good, wholesome cheesiness).
Alien vs. Ninja
Mutant Girls Squad
Both these films are from Sushi Typhoon, a subsidary of Nikkatsu, which will specialize in "extreme gore" films with an eye on international theatrical and dvd releases.
Alien vs. Ninja
Mutant Girls Squad
Both these films are from Sushi Typhoon, a subsidary of Nikkatsu, which will specialize in "extreme gore" films with an eye on international theatrical and dvd releases.
