2 weeks ago
Showing posts with label Holy Crap. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Holy Crap. Show all posts
Kiddie Kink for Korean Kars
One side of ad: Mary Blair-type picture book fun. Other side: sex-dipped schoolgirl fantasy. Now you know why the suits in Advertising & Promotion make the big bux.
And people wonder why I got out of the advertising biz...
It's Millerite Time!
Judgement Day is apparently scheduled for May 21. Full details in my latest blog post.
Mars Needs Euthanasia
Did anybody see Mars Needs Moms besides me? Sweet suffering Hayley Mills, what a disaster. Here's Zemeckis' formula for kid-movie success: first, make a movie for kids that's about a kid who's mom is abducted, sedated, and subjected to torturous experiments by aliens -- because, you know, kids are totally secure and could never be scared by the thought of their mother being kidnapped by monsters. Second, people the story with completely unlikeable characters -- a spoiled, asshole tweener "hero" whom you'll have an instant urge to slap stupid; the whining, nagging helicopter mom-slash-victim; a sweaty fat guy with Asperger's as a "good guy"; and a planet full of dirty, dangerous-looking Afro-Rastafarian Martians. Third, create a plot so convoluted and incomprehensible that Thomas fucking Pynchon couldn't figure it out. And finally, "animate" it using that creepy mo-cap process that makes every face look like that of a soulless, reanimated corpse (no pun intended). Put it all together and you get the biggest box office bomb in the history of movies. GG Disney!
This movie isn't just bad -- it's literally so bad it's scary. The characters' horrible, dead-eyed faces, the scenes of the kid's unconscious mom being brain-drained by aliens, the aforementioned sweaty fat guy with Asperger's -- it's pure nightmare fuel. My normally-unflappable four-year-old boy held my hand in a death-grip of terror the entire time we were in front of the screen; after about twenty minutes, I asked him if he wanted to leave, and he was more than ready. "Too scary, Papa." Yeah, that's what I like to hear after spending $26 on tickets and popcorn! GG Zemeckis!
Showbiz is so effed. Hollywood (etc.) is full of hyper-talented, hyper-creative types who could make the world happy with their films and so forth, yet who toil away for years in go-nowhere jobs on the cubicle floors until they give up on the dream. Meanwhile, two floors up on the Executive Level, there are other people who are getting paid fortunes to make big decisions, yet who are completely incompetent to make those decisions. And yet they get paid anyway! Think about it: the Mouse dropped a cool hundred and fifty million bucks on this sinker. That's one hundred and fifty million buckadingdongs. It'll earn back maybe -- maybe! -- a tenth of that. Yet some guy in a suit who makes more in a year than I'll net in my entire lifetime signed off on it -- and they'll keep paying him that fortune even though he was wrong, wrong, wrong.
Now you tell me there's any justice in this world.
Oh, well, at least they shuttered Zemeckis' "animation" studio for good. Thanks for wasting my money and scaring my kid shitless, Disney! WTG!
This movie isn't just bad -- it's literally so bad it's scary. The characters' horrible, dead-eyed faces, the scenes of the kid's unconscious mom being brain-drained by aliens, the aforementioned sweaty fat guy with Asperger's -- it's pure nightmare fuel. My normally-unflappable four-year-old boy held my hand in a death-grip of terror the entire time we were in front of the screen; after about twenty minutes, I asked him if he wanted to leave, and he was more than ready. "Too scary, Papa." Yeah, that's what I like to hear after spending $26 on tickets and popcorn! GG Zemeckis!
Showbiz is so effed. Hollywood (etc.) is full of hyper-talented, hyper-creative types who could make the world happy with their films and so forth, yet who toil away for years in go-nowhere jobs on the cubicle floors until they give up on the dream. Meanwhile, two floors up on the Executive Level, there are other people who are getting paid fortunes to make big decisions, yet who are completely incompetent to make those decisions. And yet they get paid anyway! Think about it: the Mouse dropped a cool hundred and fifty million bucks on this sinker. That's one hundred and fifty million buckadingdongs. It'll earn back maybe -- maybe! -- a tenth of that. Yet some guy in a suit who makes more in a year than I'll net in my entire lifetime signed off on it -- and they'll keep paying him that fortune even though he was wrong, wrong, wrong.
Now you tell me there's any justice in this world.
Oh, well, at least they shuttered Zemeckis' "animation" studio for good. Thanks for wasting my money and scaring my kid shitless, Disney! WTG!
9.0
By now you all know the story. The video has to be seen to be believed. Sendai looks like a G--d---- nuclear bomb hit it -- unbelievable devastation. Our family and friends in Japan are all accounted for and safe, thank God, but as a survivor of a major earthquake myself (Northridge '94, 6.6) I can guarantee you they are scared. (Our Yuki is here in the USA, in Orlando, so she's safe.)
For continuous live steaming video, open NHK in a window and let it run. The shibō/fumei counter inset into the video image is bone-chilling, like Hell's scoreboard. As you monitor, keep an ear open for the phrase genshiryoko hatsuden-sho [原子力発電所, "nuclear power plant"]. They lost coolant pressure at the big plant near Sendai today. I'm a former nuclear power worker, and let me tell you that's a sphincter-clenchingly scary situation. For a reactor that big (1100 MW) to lose all coolant pressure to the core is a nightmare scenario. Fortunately it's an BWR (boiling water) type reactor, so even if the core runs dry it can't melt down Chernobyl-style; without water in the core to thermalize (slow down) the neutron flux from the rods, the reaction stops (steam being more or less neutron-transparent, stopping criticality in the core).
Unfortunately, if coolant flow stops, whatever is left in the reactor core is going to flash to hot steam at high pressure (about 500°F @ 1100 PSI) and it's gotta go somewhere. I guarantee you that they will vent the core to secondary containment (the reactor building and control areas, basically) to save the core and pipes from rupturing, and that building isn't airtight; some radioactive steam will get out (if it hasn't already). Result: the control room and everybody and everything in it are going to end up being contaminated.
And they are going to have to dump the steam in the containment building sooner or later Radioactive steam on top of the Hiroshima-level destruction... not pretty.
Give money to relief organizations if you can. Otherwise, please pray for the folks in Japan who are hurting tonight. There's really nothing else to do.
For continuous live steaming video, open NHK in a window and let it run. The shibō/fumei counter inset into the video image is bone-chilling, like Hell's scoreboard. As you monitor, keep an ear open for the phrase genshiryoko hatsuden-sho [原子力発電所, "nuclear power plant"]. They lost coolant pressure at the big plant near Sendai today. I'm a former nuclear power worker, and let me tell you that's a sphincter-clenchingly scary situation. For a reactor that big (1100 MW) to lose all coolant pressure to the core is a nightmare scenario. Fortunately it's an BWR (boiling water) type reactor, so even if the core runs dry it can't melt down Chernobyl-style; without water in the core to thermalize (slow down) the neutron flux from the rods, the reaction stops (steam being more or less neutron-transparent, stopping criticality in the core).
Unfortunately, if coolant flow stops, whatever is left in the reactor core is going to flash to hot steam at high pressure (about 500°F @ 1100 PSI) and it's gotta go somewhere. I guarantee you that they will vent the core to secondary containment (the reactor building and control areas, basically) to save the core and pipes from rupturing, and that building isn't airtight; some radioactive steam will get out (if it hasn't already). Result: the control room and everybody and everything in it are going to end up being contaminated.
And they are going to have to dump the steam in the containment building sooner or later Radioactive steam on top of the Hiroshima-level destruction... not pretty.
Give money to relief organizations if you can. Otherwise, please pray for the folks in Japan who are hurting tonight. There's really nothing else to do.
Not coming to Anime Network this fall
"Little Gaza and the Seven Sparrows of Sorrow" I wonder if they'll get Kasim's Grendaizer, too . . .
Panty & Stocking est finis
I finally saw episode 13 (the finale) of Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt tonight.
